I am not bad.

I keep seeing things... people 'liking' groups on Facebook, people making comments, stuff on TV... about how bad home wreckers are.

I keep... feeling a little freaked out.

I'm not a home wrecker. I have not laid a finger upon him, nor has he laid one upon me. I have never instigated any inapproppriate conversations. I don't think I've even really made any comments that could be interpreted too badly? But he's made plenty.

He makes sure I know he's looking, and that he likes what he sees.

Sure, I dress to accentuate my figure, whether he be around or not, and hell yes, I notice him noticing - am I expected (as a single lass) to dress in a burka because some married guy is making eyes at me?

So why do I feel bad? Like I'm somehow responsible for his behavior?

Probably because I know it reflects badly on me. In spite of everything, somehow I will be pegged as the one in the wrong. His wife, if she ever works it out (and I'll know when she does!) will certainly blame me. And she's very noisy with her opinion. Is this a situation of 'the woman is always the slut, the man the stud' or is this situational? I have no idea. But I'm convinced I'm the one who'll cop it.

And there's naught I can do to remove this situation too... the two situations we find ourselves in, are ones I can't avoid. In both, I'm entirely stationary and he comes to me.

Like he's always come to me.

I suspect... this feeling of 'the other woman' harks back to a situation in my past, very similar, where I was also tagged with that unplesant label.

The fact that this has happened twice in my short life is a concern - do I have the wrong sort of friends, do I have the right friends who go for the wrong sort of women, or am *I* the wrong sort of woman? Perhaps I am a prick tease, dragging men along in my wake with the promise of more that I never intend to produce?

Perplexing.

I enjoy the attention. Where does enjoy end, and encourage start?

Comments

[msbeesy]

The stigma of the 'other woman' comes from men and from women, but I guess its mostly from women. See if the other woman is a badass-home-wrecker, then the wife hasn't failed somehow, and the man gets off without penalty. Nobody wants to think that they're being left behind because they couldn't satisfy their partner so they'd rather believe their beloved was under the spell of love potion number nine.

I think that it takes two to tango, and the cheater is definitely as much if not more to blame than the other woman. (Not that I'm insinuating anything has happened). But if it bothers you then you need to put the guards up because at the end of the day, it sounds like that's what you're starting to think about yourself. As unfounded as that thought might be, don't give yourself something to hit yourself around the head with.

If it feels wrong, it probably is.